We all have a God complex. We like to associate ourselves as being the hero in the story. So when people consider becoming foster or adoptive parents, they bring that mindset to the table as well. The problem is, there is only one Savior – and we are not Him.
My wife says I said it. I don’t believe her. I’m far too spiritual to say something so err….unspiritual. It was in a conversation over 10 years ago now that she suggested that we adopt a child. My answer was short and sweet. “No.” And then apparently I followed it up with, “And don’t pray that God changes my heart on this one.” Apparently, she did, and so did He.
Hollywood has made it cool to adopt. Angelina Jolie might deserve the credit for jump-starting the Hollywood elite to grab – not just their designer shoes and purses – but their adopted children as well. Thrown in a well-timed movie, “The Blind Side,” and now many everyday Americans are scrambling to expand their families just the same.
If we would have waited until it was a good time for my family to foster a child, we would have never started.
We had just said goodbye to our first foster daughter that we had for eight months on a Saturday. Two days later we welcomed our new foster son, Devan. The day he arrived, we knew he would be with us for good.
Thousands of years ago, God shared his plan with Abram. It went something like this… “And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing” (Gen 12:2). A few years ago my wife and I realized that we, too, had been blessed. This wasn’t for our own enjoyment, but so that we could be a blessing to others.
I’ve told people that fostering kids is like a very wild roller-coaster ride. There are exciting highs that build anticipation, and then sudden drops that keep your stomach in your throat as you hang on for dear life for the upcoming turns in the track. For our family, this past week confirmed that analogy.
Yesterday I let everyone know in this post that our foster daughter’s case was coming to a very important crossroads. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, you should. It will make what I’m about to tell you all the more surprising.
This is the story of why people don’t foster. It is a story of hurt, pain, trauma, rescue, love and restoration. Yet in the midst of all of that, the future is unclear. After almost a year with our little foster daughter, tomorrow a judge will decide the long-term direction of her life.
Many men have displaced anger issues. They love watching mixed martial arts on TV, or playing the latest and greatest brutal video games that allow them the opportunity to conquer the world. Yet in spite of all that, their souls are left empty, having successfully shadow-boxed their vast imaginary opponents.
It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? I mean, does it really need saying that foster kids need fathers? The fact that these kids are in the foster system means that something is broken. Unfortunately, most of us don’t care.