Not Just Goals. Set Family Goals.

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This is that time of year when people slow down just a little.  Over the holidays people eat a lot, hopefully see their family, and have some time to do a little introspection.

As well, this is also the time of year people make lofty promises about how they want to lose weight, quit smoking, be more disciplined, or even “make” themselves better people. Continue Reading…

Did You Spend Too Much On Christmas?

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Most Americans will dread getting their credit card bill in the mail next month.  Are you one of those?  Years ago, I remember how I got a little too excited buying presents for my family, and ended up taking a few months to dig myself out of the hole I had created.  This year, that wasn’t the case for us. Continue Reading…

Santa Claus Is Dead?

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Recently, my son was arguing with a friend.  My wife and I found out this was a point he was making in the argument; Santa Claus is dead.  When I found out, every conversation about Santa or Christmas that I’ve had with our kids started racing through my mind.  Did I ever tell him that?  Why did he feel the need to yell that out at someone? Steph and I pulled him aside, and talked to him about where he got that phrase.  Unfortunately, we realized it was partly our fault in what we have been teaching him about Santa Claus.

I have a confession to make:  I love Christmas.

Always have.  To this day I begin listening to Christmas music around October 1.  I love candles that smell like cinnamon or pine, cutting down a fresh Christmas tree with my family, and watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” while enjoying a good fire in the fireplace.

Growing up, I was the kid who lived to watch “A Christmas Story” over and over again while TBS had it playing non-stop for 24 hours.  I once faked sick as a child, stayed home from school, and spent most of the day pulling up the carpet in the hallway of the house so that I could run wire from my room to my sister’s for our “Morse Code” system we had set up. (Come to think of it, I never told my parents about that one; I hope they’re not reading this.)

All this to say, when Steph and I began to talk about what we would tell our kids about Santa Claus, this was a big deal to us.

Like many other parents this time of year, Steph and I have been forced to grapple with what we will tell our kids about Santa Claus.  Would we tell them he is real, tell them he is not, or just dodge the question altogether?  A few years ago, we began by dodging the question, because we didn’t know exactly what we wanted to tell them.

Here is where we landed and why:

From the very beginning, we have told our kids that Santa Claus WAS real.  Not that he IS real, but that he WAS real.  As Steph and I talked about it, we agreed we didn’t want to mislead our kids on this.  We speak often of God and His son, Jesus, who sounds too good to be true.  As we teach them about Him, we want there to be no mistake; we mean what we say.  We felt like presenting Santa Claus as alive and real today would only confuse them once the “truth” came out.

A good friend, Lance, recently sent me a link to Mark Driscoll’s article on Santa Claus.  I highly recommend you reading it.  You can find it here.

I love the way Driscoll presented his case.  To him, in referencing Santa Claus, he had 3 options:

1. He could reject Santa (turn his back on the idea of him)

2. He could receive Santa (pass on old the stories, folklore, and act like Santa is real with his kids)

3. He could redeem Santa (tell his kids the truth about Santa, and use him as a tool to teach his kids something far greater)

In his article, he shares how he chose the 3rd option; to redeem Santa Claus with his kids.

We’ve taught our kids much about Nicholas.  He loved Jesus, and his love for Him spurred Nicholas to do much for people.  He loved, gave generously, and left a huge imprint on this world because of it.  Eventually, he was canonized as a saint after he died in 343.

Yes, the movies and folklore tells us “St. Nick”  flew around in a sleigh, and delivered presents to every child on this planet in one night by dropping down through their chimneys.  As a child, this made no sense to me, but I really wanted it to be true.  Many of these stories came into being for one reason or another over the centuries.  Again, Driscoll’s article shares some of the “why’s” behind these stories, here.

As followers of Jesus, we want to be giving people.  We want to remind people of God’s abundant love for them, and so this time of the year, we get to “play Santa Claus” for them.  Last year I loved to see my kids catch on.  Steph and I shared with them about a single mother we knew, and how she had no money to buy presents for her children at Christmas.  We let our kids know that Steph and I were excited to give her a little chunk of money to help bless her kids.  They ran to their room, pulled out their jar of coins, and insisted that they give to the cause as well.  We ended up delivering an anonymous note with a wad of bills, and a bunch of coins to this single mom.  I’ve never talked to this mom about it.  Now that I think about it, I’m not even sure she ever got it.  But, it was a great time as a family to be a blessing to someone.

This year, our family went to the mall and each of our kids picked an “Angel Tree” child.  Once everyone got a child’s name, we all went to Target to buy presents for them.  We picked kids roughly the same ages as our own, and so asked our kids to try to find what these other kids might like.  It was a great time.

We still have an 8′ Christmas tree, lights up around the house, a beautiful nativity scene on the counter, Christmas songs playing non-stop, and a vintage tree-topper of Mr & Mrs Claus.  In spite of all this, our choice is to use Santa Claus to teach our kids a much bigger lesson.

We celebrate the birthday of Jesus on this day.  We explain the significance of that to our little kids.  And then we tell them that a long time ago, a guy named Nick loved Jesus so much that he was compelled to help people in need.  We love Jesus, and so let’s let our love for Him compel us to love others as well.

What is your plan when it comes to Santa Claus with your family?

From Shame To Hope, And Buying A Van With Cash

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In 2004, my assistant walked into my office in tears.  Drowning in debt, she was struggling hard to keep her head “above water.”   She was upside down on a car, owed thousands in student loans, and had credit cards piled up as well.  That day in my office, it took me quite some time to find out exactly how bad her problem was.  She had convinced herself that no guy would ever want to marry her because of the financial situation.  Shame, despair and hopelessness could accurately describe her countenance. Continue Reading…

Building Sons Into Men

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Men are an endangered species.  I really believe that.

Over the past 15 years, I have been working directly and indirectly with college students.  Almost 10 years ago I noticed a trend that – at the time – was alarming.  That alarm has now been going off non-top since, and I’m finally seeing it come to fruition. Continue Reading…

What Did Your Parents Do Right?

Lessons from Parents

My parents made plenty of mistakes.  Yours did too.  As a dad now with 4 kids, I’ve finally arrived at that place where I am more cognizant of the mistakes I am making.  Wouldn’t it be nice if – like the idea of the “easy button” – we could just hit a button to erase all the mistakes we’ve made.  Unfortunately, we can’t. Continue Reading…

Bad Followership: Resisting Good Leadership

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This is a guest post from a good friend of mine, Stan Ward.  He has already written one post for this blog on followership.  Here is another, with some great simple points about following.

There are some things even Jesus won’t forgive.

Seriously. Take a moment to read Mark 3:22-30. This passage contains a concept both frequently debated and generally misunderstood: blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. My personal take on the story: the Pharisees don’t recognize good leadership (and that is why they attribute Jesus’ power to Beelzebub instead of God). Their worldview was so corrupt that they confused good with evil (see a warning about this in Isaiah 5:20). And as we know from elsewhere in the gospels, the Pharisees not only confused Jesus’ power source, they also actively resisted him. Continue Reading…

Fostering: My Only Regret

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Almost four months ago now, we received our first foster child.  That night, we were awakened by a phone call around midnight and were asked if we’d be willing to accept her into our family for a time.

After some quick prayer and even quicker conversation, we agreed to do it.  Less than an hour later, this tired little girl was escorted to our house by 3 people from Child Protective Services. Continue Reading…

Halloween: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

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I have great memories as a kid running around my neighborhood trying to get as much candy as possible each Halloween.  I was the first one out and the last one back.  Recently, I read about how someone explained Halloween to Jerry Seinfeld when he was a kid.  His response, “You mean people are giving away candy…for free?  And all I have to do is wear that?”  That was my thought as well. Continue Reading…

Five Leadership Lessons From President George W Bush

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I am not a staunch Republican.  I don’t watch cable news over and over, and mindlessly repeat the taglines to anyone willing to listen.  I say this because I recognize that George W Bush is a polarizing person.  Most love him or hate him. Continue Reading…

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