What do you do when you can tell your child is beginning to shut down on you? I’ve looked into the eyes of countless parents who were grasping for anything that might help “fix” their son or daughter. Maybe the answer lies in understanding more of what God has done with his children.
My wife says I said it. I don’t believe her. I’m far too spiritual to say something so err….unspiritual. It was in a conversation over 10 years ago now that she suggested that we adopt a child. My answer was short and sweet. “No.” And then apparently I followed it up with, “And don’t pray that God changes my heart on this one.” Apparently, she did, and so did He.
Her comment surprised me. It was made nonchalantly to her friend, but definitely caught my ear as I thought about the weight of her words. “This has been the toughest year of our marriage.” It’s one thing to hear someone admit that, it’s an entirely different thing when it is your own wife that says it.
We are used to calling the expert. It’s what we do anytime something around us needs to be repaired. It might be when our car breaks down, our air-conditioner quits cooling, or when our back pain won’t seem to go away. If in doubt, we call in someone who knows what they’re doing. So why would we think differently when it comes to our own kids?
I did stupid things in college – and many of them. Classes were optional, studying wasn’t necessary, and my weeks generally revolved around the sport in season on the campus. God’s grace is real. I know it because I eventually received a college diploma.
Many men are good at going to church. But when it comes to leading their wives spiritually, its a completely different story. Their lives are marked by passivity covered in shame. Deep down, they know they should be doing something, but they can’t quite put their finger on exactly what that is.
Being a parent is not difficult. It just takes having someone who refers to you as “mom” or “dad.” Being a great parent, though, is a different story. That requires practice, study, and learning from plenty of mistakes. Which one do you plan on being?
Like many well-meaning parents, I look for opportunities to teach my kids truth from the Bible. We talk about Jesus, read stories from the Scriptures, and talk about what it looks like to honor God with our lives. But so many parents inadvertently dummy-down the Bible in the process. The result is toxic.
Becoming a new parent can be downright terrifying. Like many of you, I remember being surprised they actually let me leave the hospital with our baby. I kept telling myself to look confident and defer to my wife when the nurses asked me questions. This post is for men who were just like me.
Hollywood has made it cool to adopt. Angelina Jolie might deserve the credit for jump-starting the Hollywood elite to grab – not just their designer shoes and purses – but their adopted children as well. Thrown in a well-timed movie, “The Blind Side,” and now many everyday Americans are scrambling to expand their families just the same.